Fianlly make some time to blog. I will not blog tht often now because of my blogshop. Was angry, pissed off, irritatated, i hate all these larhhs. I hate my medicines. I seriously have no appetite. But, I look fatter without food. I'm sick & tired of all the things happening. Can someone please bring me away from all these? Should i say its lies ? Not working for the time being, i need to rest. And, I'm rotting @ home alrd. argh ! So damn bored. No life !
May time ease th pain, May time wipe th memories away. Thanks people for your concern, I'm well, May not be tht Rachel once again.
I think, for th rest of th photos, i look damn ugly can ?!? But nevermind, i'm sick whad, how pretty do you expect a patient to be? alrights, enough of all these. I took photos because i'm too BORED !! hahahah. I kept on annoying th nurse, ask her to accompany me . She is damn nice larhhs, mon (:
Singapore's nurse are not as patience & sweet as those filipino nurses. They're really very kind. They really help you when you're in pain. Not like sg nurse, ignore you. hahah. But she is so bad. She ask me not to be discharge so tht she can see me everytime she come to work. She should be th one asking me to discharge as soon as possible right? hahah. She always call me "my girl, my girl ". I bet i'll miss her when i discharge. Dont know when will i have thchance to see her again because, i don't want to be hospitalised again. Isn't it a good thing. She is th best nurse i've evr seen. MON, misses yeas !! Dont you think tht th clothes tht they provide ae damn kuku? So ugly, i look like ah ma can ?!?! BUt, no choice, i need to wear. Th doctor said tht i need to go for 1 more scanning den i can go home ! YAYS ! Finally, i miss my house. I miss th fresh air utside th hospital. It has been 5 days alrd ): Break record le larhhs.
I seriously don't want to be admitted to th hospital again !
3:40 PM
I CANT SLEEP ): I dont know why. People came over to visit me again today. Thanks all. &&, thanks my RALPH LAUREN staffs for buying those things for me. I know all of you miss me. I'll be back real soon yeas, i promise ! I hope i can be discharge tmr. PLEASE !
I'm really boring !! really really . an you imagine, you cant sleep @ all when it is alrd 2 a.m ? hais. I'm still thinking through lots of things. All those things tht happened recently & not long ago. i cant slep well tonight. Guess why? Its because, i have not pain except for my hands . Is it a good thing or a bad thing? People do view my blog, but they never bother to tag. I do wonder sometimes what is th tagboard for? ):
Please do tag if you're here (:
2:06 AM
Sunday, October 26, 2008
To Fiona, For Fiona.
Although we're not close friends or so called sisters. But, when in need, call me whenever you want. Sorry for not listening to your explanation tht day. But, i guess its alright now because me & him are just friends.
To say th truth, it is not worth being so sad for relationship thingy. I've been through it, i know th best. Those heartaches tht you feel is something tht could not be explain or letting other people understand. It do hurt, so so much if you really did put your heart into it. You know, in every relationship, when you've reached a stage whereby you felt tht no matter what he do is right, you can accept him whoever he is, it is something, tht is worth to celebrate if tht relationship is still going on. Because, all these shows tht you love him, its LOVE, not like anymore.
No one will understand what type of pain when you realise tht breaking up means tht you could not see him whenever you want, cannot hold his hand, cannot call him dear/laogong/baby, cannot kiss him, cannot hug him when you want, cannot text him when you miss him, cannot call him when you're in need of comfort, love or care, cannot tell him how much you love him. I swear, i understand how it feels. It really really felt so miserable when you realise it. Once you breakup, you regretted lots of things. you would blame yourself for making yourself lose such a relationship. You will keep thinking of th times when he show you his love, when he care, when he concern, when he is anxious when you're sick/injured, when he felt heart pain seeing you in pain. You will not get th love once again. You could not be th one holding his hand anymore. you'll not be th one tht he will be saying i love you again & again.
You know, somethings, no matter how hard you tried to salvage, it is useless. Although you'll feel tht you're in th wrong. Definitely must be you tht had done something wrong to make him tired of you or even hate you or something. But, it is useless, really useless. No matter how painful you felt, how miserable you are, he will not realise it @ all. He will still be living happily, enjoying his daily life, continue with his life as if he did not lose anything at all. To say th truth, nothing in this world is forever. If a guy say tht he wants to stick with you forever, those promises & everything, please do not believe them. They are just lies, words. They're all useless. Guys would not know how painful it is for a girl to feel when they said breakup. They will not know how miserable th girl feels when they say tht they're tired.
I know you felt tired feel like dying, something is missing in your heart, everything felt so pointless, everything felt so empty. This feeling, "special" feeling, no one would understand. No matter how hard you tried to look happy, contented or even not at all lonely, whenever you're in th bus, in th train, walking home, you'll remember how he hold your hands, hug you, send you home & text you asking you if you've reached home safely.
Be strong girl, live for yourself. Don't put too much trust in guys, you will only be hurt, again & again. Take good care of yourself. Please don't ever do stupid things. Never play with your life, just remember tht you've gained something from this relationship. This is part of life, This IS life. everyone need to go through this. Everyone had gone through this. This type of pain, something tht medicine cant cure. Time will wash everything away. Time will heal th pain. Don't think too much. Remember: he don't even care, why should i think so much things? He won't regret, why should be th one regretting? He won't feel pain, why should i be th one tht suffer? He won't come back, whad am i hoping& thinking of? He won't turn back, why should i be th one finding ways? Tell yourself: I must be strong, show him tht i can live better without him. I have friends by my side, why shoould i keep thinking of him? I can live without him, i won't die just like tht. Someone better will come by, he is just not th right one. JIAYOU, JIAYOU !! (: TakeCare uh,
loves, Rachel
7:56 PM
I simply love my blog now !! I love th fonts, th colours & every single thing of it . People, please do read th words on th right & my thanks to all th people tht had helped me.
I LOVE ALL OF YOU !! MUACKS !!
<3
11:46 AM
I've got tons of shows tht i have not watched !!
1. It started with a kiss 2 2. Ming Zhong Zhu Ding Wo Ai Ni 3. Connected 4. 4bia 5. HOT SHOT 6. Bleach 7. Naruto 8. Th 20th century boys
still have lots more tht i have not watched !! I need lots of time & energy for all these !!
"obstacles make you stronger, when you've been through lots of things, you will know tht nothing can knock you down. You'll be stronger, better & a more sensible person"
I'm blogging in th hospital. I'm hospitalised. hahahah.Overdosed of panadols. I thought tht eating more pain killer will ease th pain. Not knowing tht all these could have nearly cost my life. I'm now so boring . Many thanks to th people tht had came over to visit me. &&, let me share my stupid-est encounter with you.
THURSDAY
Ate 32 tablets of panadols, called Charleen, meet her, xun, JIR & jialeong@ YioChuKang MRT station. They brought me to AngMoKioPolyclinic. Was feeling giddy, but th queue was fast. Th doctor actually asked them to take a cab & sent me to TTS. But, i dot know what happen in th end, i ended up in th ambulance which sent me to SGH. Damn cool can? First time in my lifetime, i took an ambulance to th hospital. Th ambulance still have th siren on eh ! gosh ! so cool right? &&, I'm using an oxygen tank. hahah . So very exaggerating. But, it was really a rare encounter. Reached th hospital, waited for a long time till one of th doctors attend to me. He is like threatening me lo. He said tht if i complain any pain to him, he is going to give me tons of injection ! ass ! I kept vomiting. Was sent to th ward, hours later.
FRIDAY
Still lies in th hospital. had nothing better to do. Thanks ZhongShao for coming over to accompany me for th whole night. I know you want say tht you're very wei da larhhs. Indeed you're noble. hahahah. But, maybe i would do th same if its you lying in th hospital.
&&&, thanks BaoWen, WenHui, ShiYing, Richmond, Weeboon, JIR, Jialeong, Xun, Jianjun, Zhongshao, mummy & those tht had SMS-ed me & came over to visit me. Thanks yeas. But, i'm not commiting suicude larhhs, I'm not so dumb. Thanks people for all your concerns & your encouragements. Thanks.
Lessy, sorry tht i've did such a stupid dumb thing on your birthday. Anyway, happy birthday. loves.
2:23 PM
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Tears cant stop flowing, i dont know why. I guess i was kinda stupid. I dont know what to do next. Seems different, sound different, felt different. i dont know how to explain it. I do suspect if i'm really alive. i hate tht ! i dont know why. There was once, someone asked me, why after so may bad things happen, i can still be so strong, smiling everyday. Sometimes, although you see a smile on th surface, it dos not really mean tht i am happy. People do have troubles right? I do have stress, there is no need for me to express them out. Only a few people tht knows me well know how much i've gone through. I'm in need of help, seriously.
; ; ;
I WANT TO GO OUT !! I WANT TO GO OUT !! I WANT TO GO OUT !!
ANYONE GOING WITH ME? TO SOMEWHERE FAR WAY ? LIKE MARINABAY [though i dont know go there for whad] OR, MARINA SQUARE? CITYLINK MALL ? CAUSEWAY POINT? ORCHARD? FAR EAST PLAZA ? VIVO CITY !! [ i miss tht place ] ;
BUT PLEASE, NO BUGIS FOR ME CAN? I HATE THT PLACE ! ; ;
MAYEB, GO K AGAIN WOULD BE OKAY. MOVIE? CHALET? BBQ? MAHJIONG? EAST COAST PARK? WILD WILD WET? ESCAPE THEME PARK? PASIR RIS PARK?
; ;
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!
; ;
I'M VERY VERY BORED RIGHT NOW !! I DONT WANT TO THINK OF ANTHING ANYMORE. JUST GIVE ME A PLACE TO RELAX, A PLACE TO REST, A PLACE TO FIND TH OLD RACHELONGYANJING AGAIN !! I'M LIKE LISTING ALL TH NICE PLACE IN SINGAPORE !! I HAVE PLENTY OF THINGS THT ARE NOT DONE !! I KEPT DREAMING THT I GOT KNOCKED DOWN BY CARS @ MY HOUSE'S NEARBY CARPARK, A WAY THT I NEED TO WALK PAST EVERYDAY. TH DREAM SEEMS SO REAL. ; ;
BORINGGGG !! ; ; I SHALL GO SWIMMING NOW , NOW !! ; ; BYEEES !!
Changed new blog song. This song really suits my mood right now. Didnt sleep for th whole night. I really dont know whad i am thinking. Why th F do i do tht for? its like, too late for me to salvage everything. Does love always end with a scar or something? Why cant it be simple & easy? I'm lost, again & again. whad you all expect me to do? At most, i can only cry. but crying cant solve everything/anything right? I felt tht i am always th dumb one to put all my emotions into it. But, i really dont know what will it ends with. Maybe, i really expect far too much. i'm tired, tired of everything. I dont see a point in anything & everything tht i've done. Heart really do ache, i swear. It is worst den all those physical pains tht people suffer. will death solve anything? i really dont know. I'm stress up, really stress up. There is really no one in this world tht understand how i really feel. I do feel tht no one have experienced th pains & suffering i've gone through. Things arre just bit, too late. Time will not wash those bad things away.
Some words & actions, is better not to be heard, not to be said & not to be done.
1:59 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ONG CHARLEEN !!
;
Should i say i have nothing better to do or should i say its really time for me to do some blogging? I have edited my blogskin finally. I dont know why th hell i went to change my blogskin for. Its so damn not nice can? Yesterday was a bad day for me. I vent-ed my anger on one of th customer. Its so, not like me. I dont really get angered when i'm working. I just dont know whad happened. So F stressed up because of my family. To think tht i've dont so much things for them/her, what i get in return? Scoldings ? insults ? I'm old enough to think wisely larhhs. Its not as if i'm sill tht young & innocent girl taking her PSLE . Don't you realise tht your insult would make me hate you? How well do you understand me? I doubt you know what is my favourite food, colour, drinks & snacks . You dont even know when is my exams, when am i getting my result & whatever. You just blame me for every single thing tht i do. What th F ! The problem is, DID YOU ASK NOT? dont tell me you understand me well. dont act as if you really do. What matters is how i think not how you think. Sometimes, i do hope tht you dont give birth me to this F-ing world to go through so much things alone. When words came out of your F mouth, did you think before you say? No matter what you do, you always feel tht you're in th right. i am in th wrong. Go think through la, who th hell treat you better? Me or her? dont go & craps to your sisters what so ever things tht i've done larhhs. Its not even true larhhs. Dont make yourself sound so pathetic when you're not. I swear, when i'm older, i'll move out of this stupid place I'm really tired of this. what really keeps me living in this world? sometimes, i really dont really see a point sometimes. I felt tht what i have done is enough, really enough. I'm sick & tired of this type of life. Do what ever you want. I dont want to care anymore.
;
I do thanks th people for being there, th advises all have said. Some times, it is really useless unless you experience it yourself. I'm sorry to say these. But, thanks all anyw.
Just hack care my blog thingy. because after i have changed my blogskin, i found out tht i have no time to change every other things such as my tagboard. So, please wait till I'm free den you come over & tag. I am sooo boring right now! Tht stupid ddear is sleeping again. Sian !! Byeeees [:
;
4:27 PM
Thursday, October 16, 2008
First of all, my beloved photo !! Taken with dear, like finally, took a nice photo [: ; ;
taken @ th Chalet, not much photos, more photos will be uploaded when i received them. ; ; ; ; ; ;
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOH KUN XUN <3 *we've known each other for so long, though many things happened, we're still stick together as 3. I hope tht this will maintain, &, you've played a good part, being a friend, a sister & a person tht had appeared in my life ! Thank you ! Finally turned 16 , happy right !!
;
;
CHALET DAY
Although dear is sick just now, i dont know why after a few medicine eaten, he woke up feeling well again. So scary, he suddenly fall sick, suddenly recovered. Supppper speeddddy !! I'm like a maid, tht help him carry his things & let him ignored for nothing. I'm not angry la, i know he feel damn pek chek because of th headaches. Dear, dont need to keep saying sorry laas. I'm actually considering if i should go chalet because, it would be bad if i leave him alone with his sickness while i go & "enjoy" right? But, i'm glad he is okay now.
Dear sent me home & came back all th way from my house back home again. I think, its because he is guilty of something tht he had done just now [*right dear ?*] We cab-ed home & train-ed back. Meet Chester @ Yishun Interchange to go Pasir Ris together. He was so flare up with me for being so late. When i am walking to the Mrt station, i told him tht i was @ th station alrd. But th last time tht he called, i said th truth, i am walking towards th bus interchange. He kept rushing me, telling me tht th bus is here bla bla bla. So, i P.S dear & made him went home alone. so sorry uh. Took th bus there, was chatting with Chester all th way about th things tht had happened this year. I suddenly realised tht everyone, including me had changed so much. Time really passed damn fast. All of us have different goals now, heading a different way, leading a different life & learning more & more different things. Sometimes, i do wish tht time can stop for us, to enjoy more of these nice moments in life.
Reached chalet, started to eat. But, there is not much food tht make me feel like eating. Ate Subway with th guys tht came late. I'm th only girl tht went with them. Nearly all th shop is closed, only left a few tht is opened. Ate a little & let Qihao finish th rest [: Many people turned up for th chalet. Different groups of people played different things. Did not manage to take many photos with Chaleen & KunXun because i was late. I'm glad tht everyone had fun. Benjamin Tan went there too, he is like enjoying being bullied? [:
Once it reached midnight, everyone must lower their volume down. This is th stupid rule tht you need to follow in Coasta Sand Resort. Accompanied Syaril to sent JIR to take cab home @ midnight. Some unhappy things happened, shall not elaborate. Chatted with WeeBoon all th way, talking about many many things tht happened last time & recently. Brought 2 drunk person to WhiteSand Shopping Mall's 7-eleven . Continue Chatting all th way. Took a ride from WeeBoon's dad home @ around 6 a.m. did not sleep much. Thanks dear for talking on the phone with me so early in the morning <3
Poor boy ): I felt so helpless lo. I dont even know what i can do to help him. Th only thing i can do is stay beside him. gosh. sorry dear, loves.
;
1:07 PM
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
YESTERDAY
I went for job interview. Tht person who intro me was someone th i've known through my work place last year. I'm so glad tht he still remember me. When i called him, i told him I'm Rachel, tht girl tht he met last year, he told me to go down & interview right away. Although its sales line again, but, i think i'm gonna gain something from it no matter what. The pay was not too bad, th enviroment is good too. Me & my sisters went for th interview. But, there is only vacancy for 2 person to be @ th same outlet. Chaleen was being placed in another outlet. But, her manager/supervisior is better & th rules are not tht strict. All of us had advantages & disadvantages. But, Charleen dont want to be alone in another place.
Th manager of tht department store was damn ass. He didnt even look @ us in a good manner/ so called, friendly manner. He said tht if we didnt bring IC we can leave straight away. What th ! But, must tolerate him la, next time still need to work there. Th assistance supervisior ask me & xun to start work today. SOOOO, we went to SHOP for th things tht we need to buy.
Dear came to fetch me, so sweet right? &&&, he bought many things for me, although i returning him th money [:
Thanks dear, i love you !
TODAY
Wake up damn early, bathe, talk to dear on th phone, den, OFF TO WORK !! Meet XUN & mrt station, ate breakfast @ orchard. When we're going in, we lost our way, IDIOT ENOUGH RIGHT? Finally, found our way in, look for th supervisor, Felicia. She is soo sweet & nice. Treat us superb good today. She know tht our new shoes & driving us crazy, she let me run errants so tht i can relax abit. But, th people inside are not really those very friendly type [: Anyw, my sweet dear came to fetch me again. hahahs. I LOVE YOU !
I must work harder la !
11:22 PM
Sunday, October 12, 2008
HELLOS, I had such a great time yesterday again [: I WANT A CREATIVE WHITE HEADPHONE !! I'm getting it when i get my first pay of 2008 [: I need so damn lots of things. I need to slim down seriously !! Cannot tahan the fats alrd. &&&& , I've a good news !! I'm going to start work on Saturday !! [: I'm gonna be so busy, i will have lesser time to blog. Please do stay tuned, I'll try to update more often .
Thanks dear, ILY !
8:20 PM
Saturday, October 11, 2008
You also not my father, care so much for what? I also not related to you what !! Pis-ed off by someone. I felt damn irritated laas. Like, for what, why must report things to someone tht is not even related to me. Wat's more, i dont even need to report to my bf laas !! Dont happy happy jiu so call / msg my mum laas. Told you le, over jiu suan le. Dont go & think about it anymore. &, whether i working or not working also none of your business right? I know i sound harsh. But, this will be th best way for you to give up. Hate me is much better den you like me.
Planned to go eat buffet today. BUT, because of my stupid sister, we did not go. arghhh !! Why must give in to her?! Anyw, went shopping @ bugis just now. &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& !! I SAW LES-SY !! so happy laas, she's so cute ! [: BF meet-up with tht customer @ cwp. I'm too lazy to go [: Thankyews ! I just used 1 hour to spent $80 . I MUST SAVE MONEY ! I MUST STAND STRAIGHT [ although its tiring ): ] ! JIAYOUS !! mummy is going out tonight till 3 - 4 a.m I'm alone @ home again. byeeeees.
7:25 PM
Friday, October 10, 2008
People, This is my blogshop's URL, Please do support !! [:
I feel like snapshoting BF sleeping [: But i didn't [: My date turned out fine yesterday. He's too sweeet le larhhs, he P.S me, i also cant blame him right? But, i've been neglecting him because i'm using his lappy for my blogshop thingy. He's so ke lian [: But, he came back as soon as he can to acccompany me [: Went to eat supper @ around 1 a.m Th prata shop uncle damn nice laas, he so humourous. Ask him give me sugar, he gave me th WHOLE plastic JUG of sugar. I'm changing my blog's song again. I'm so boring doing posting & mailing my suppliers. But, i stil need to. I'm going to be soo busy for the next few days. I've said before right? Saturday, going buffet. But, i think tht restaurant is fully booked. Sian diao lo ]: But, mummy still say she will try to book again. Anyway, i feel like going to the chalet real soon ! [: I fel like going with my sisters to WILD WILD WET. We've never tried going together before. I think, i must save my shopping money to enjoy these few days with them. Its gonna be sooo FUN !! Btw, should i change my blogskin? [:
*PEOPLE, If you're going to the chalet, CINTACT CHARLEEN OR KUNXUN OR HUAIMIN as soon as possible !!
11:33 AM
Thursday, October 9, 2008
i want a DOGGY , PUPPY !! NOW !! [ anyone tht can buy me one, i'll marry you ;], Just kidding ]
Woke up @ 0730 AM . meet up @ northpoint, ate breakfast . I damn sian diao lo, later got someone going to P.S me ]: BYEES !!
I had a good time yesterday. But, i shall not elaborate (: I've nothing better to do now ! So boring !! Feel like going shopping tomorrow. can i ? CANNOT !! Got date tomorrow, nearly forgotten :X Then i shall go shopping on friday (: Saturday go buffet with my family + my sister's bf. Everthing arrange hao le . sooo good !! I feel so boring staying at home doing nothing. I need to work !! I know, i spent too much $$ last week. I must learn to save ! If not, i'm gonna be poor for a lifetime. I want to work !! I need money for many many things. btw, I heard a song from my cousin's phone yesterday. Its superb nice, & meaningful. Its quite an old song, but its still nice (:
Peeps from our class are organizing a class chalet on the 15th of OCTOBER. VENUE :Downtown East DATE : 15th OCTOBER 2008 EACH PERSON : $18 Including: Chalet overnight & BBQ
Please do try to turn up. This may be the last year for some of us. And, they dont earn your money organizing it,they don't gain anything okays !! Please stop those childish "i dont like who, please dont ask tht person to come" acts ! This is meant for th whole class !! Thus, everyone is invited !! Think over it & contact any of them . Feel free to msg me for their ( Charleen, Kunxun & Huai Min ) no. 81188909 Please do try to pass this msg around. Thanks love.
11:57 AM
Monday, October 6, 2008
YAYS !! IT DIDN'T HAPPEN !! :]
PHEW ~~~~~~ BT ROCKS!
11:44 PM
Can everything & anything please don't happen ? PLEASE ? Sometimes, things are not as easy as you think. But, please, don't happen okay ! I also don't want it to happen @ all !! Because, i want to lead my life good & well. Without you, i can do things better. I can score better, i can do things with no worries. Why th hell must it happen to me ? I don't care, ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN !! I'm leading a happy & carefree life now. Who cares if you can this or not, i just feel like sying out loud "WITHOUT YOU, I WON'T DIE LAA !! "
8:49 PM
I had been soo busy with my things till i've forgotten to eat my breakfast & lunch. I didn't know tht it was soo late till a silly person told me its 2 P.M !! Went to my auntie house after blogging. Actually, i was to go there to fix her computer for her. It was fixed fast :] Had tht sudden urge to eat KFC, &&&&&&, there was this kind soul tht went to eat with me. Tell you what, his hair look better last time [ as compared to now ! ] LOLS. If he see this post, he confirm feel like killing me. hahahs. i ate my FAVOURITE SHROOM BURGER !! :]
Let you see his stupid photo, dont tell people uh :X >.<
He was talking on th phone with someone & i snapshot this !!
see, talk sooo long, still talking, still dont know how to auto stop.
see, STILL TALKING. I know you'll cannot tahan alrd, so, i shall not post anymore picture of him :]
SEE my bhb face even better :] Just kidding, i think i look ugly in this :X Please, dont need to say out loud " YOU ARE !! " will hurt one eh. hahahs. Later i dont dare to take photo forever :X
byees (:
8:44 PM
早知道爱, 我已忘了离开
等妳明白 我非妳不爱
或许简单 却不平凡
就算时间要我从今以后 为妳孤单.
早知道爱 我已忘了喜欢
给妳的爱 是永远不晚
只因为爱 我都明白
将我的心放妳口袋
等待 早知道爱
- Lu Xue Rui, ZAO ZHI DAO AI
Went to Hajar's house to celebrate Hari Raya ! We thought there will be soooo many people going.
But, only 4 people went !! And thts me, Syafiqah, BAOWEN & wenhui.
Pathetic right? The rest of them was like, last minute got something -.-
what th !! I sort of hate tht last minute thingy.
Since you've given your word tht you're going, your last minute thing/s should cancel right?
nevermind, ate alot @ her house.
I'm busy right now, so, i shall keep this post short.
The photos are below, please dont comment on my hair.
I know it look weird. Its not straight because i've tied it up.
